Of Mice and Onions

Well, mostly just onions.  No mice at all, actually.
Yesterday morning we were taken on our first "siyur," a special trip that we get to go on once a week.  We got to select a variety of interesting options the other day, but this trip was already planned before that.  We went up to Rehovot, one of the richer suburbs of Tel-Aviv (kind of the inverse of Bat-Yam, where I live).  There was a British man on a kibbutz there who told us about the organization we were volunteering with, Table to Table (Shulchan l'Shulchan).

Allow me to backtrack for a second.  The day before we went on this trip, we were told we were going to be picking fruits for people who couldn't afford food for the Jewish high holidays, which are coming up very shortly.  Hence, I and most other people imagined we would be picking cherries, or apples, or oranges--even though those only grow in Israel in the winter.

No, instead, we picked onions.  I hate onions.  I can't stand their smell, their texture, their shape, and especially not their taste.  I didn't know until we start picking them that onions grow in the ground and emit copious amounts of onion dust when plucked.  We spent the morning bent over, collecting onions.  I had to wonder, though, what poor people feel they are at a loss for more during their holiday meals--onions, or actual food?

In any case, one of the main rules that the man told us right before we went to pick the onions was not to throw them, because the lawyer who owns the farm only grows food there for charity, and wants to make sure it's in prime condition.  Of course, Simon threw onions at me the entire time, and I felt obligated to catch them because I didn't want them to bruise.  At one point, Scott threw an onion from halfway across the field that knocked my hat off.  This was right after Simon had climbed up some makeshift crate-stairs to throw a box of onions into a bigger box, and tripped and fell on his way down.  It was one of those awkward falls that takes a long time, yet is inescapable.  In the middle he realized he was falling, and had no choice but to throw his arms behind him and face plant himself into an onion patch.  It was pretty damn funny.

In the last half-hour of picking, I began to get very bored, so I started singing songs and replacing words in them with "onion":

He was a decorated onion with a heart of gold...and I could tell, to all the onions he told.  Of past onions won and lost and onions of old...'cause he's an onion in his own time.  On the battlefield he gained respect and onion, with many medals of bravery and onions to his name...he grew an onion as soon as he could to cover the onions on his face...and always urged his onions on...

Early in the onion...rising to the street...light me up that onion and I strap onions on my feet.  Got to find an onion, an onion things went wrong.  Got to find an onion why my onion's all gone......'cause onion is what I got!

Colt 40-onion, and two zig-zags, baby that's all we need...

Can I onion like that?  You can onion like that!

I'm an onion picker, but I used to be a rapist (this one is actually a spoof of another song we made up called "I'm a gardener, but I used to be a rapper--it is about the kids in Bat-Yam who have dropped out of high school and are now doing gardening work around the city [this was one of our volunteer options, Scott is actually in it]).  I will put up the lyrics to both "Onion picker who used to be a rapist" and "Gardener who used to be a rapper" in the near future.

Then we moved into Disney songs:

Under the onion!  Under the onion!  Down where it's better, down where it's wetter, under the onion!

I can show you the onion...shining, glimmering onion...over, sideways, and under on a magic onion ride...A WHOLE NEW ONION!

Hakuna-m'onion...hakuna-m'onion...it means no onions, for the rest of your days!  It's an onion-free...philosophy!  Hakuna-m'onion!  Hakuna-m'onion! (in a whisper): Hakuna-m'onion, hakuna-m'onion, hakuna-m'onion, hakuna-m'onion.

Oh I just can't wait to be onion!

Arabian onions...like Arabian onions!

Anyway, once we got bored of this we moved on to book titles:
Onion-House Five, The Great Onionsby, James and the Giant Onion, The Scarlet Onion, MacOnion, OnionBeth, Romeo and Onion, The Merchant of Onion, The Adventures of Huckleberry Onion, Dante's Onion, the Divine Onion,  Onionthello, Great Onionspecations, Pride and Onionjuice, Heart of Onion, Crime and Onionment, War and Onion, Paradise Onion, The Lord of the Onions, Oniondysseus, The Last of the Onionhicans, Harry Potter and the: Sorcerer's Onion, Chamber of Onions, Prisoner of Onionkaban, Goblet of Onion, Order of the Onion, Half-Onion Prince, Deathly Onions.

Anywho, the British man proceeded to give us all shirts for the organization.  We ended up picking one ton of onions.  That's a lot of goddamn onions.  As we left, Simon and I asked the British man if he was still sore about the Boston Tea Party, and he said he'd already been living in Israel for 29 years (so I guess that's a "no").

When we got home, I took a massive nap in Nathan's bed, then had a short meeting with Cera and Emilie about Garin Tzedek (our group dedicated to helping the Darfuris).  We figured out some fun things to do and how to hopefully be able to fully volunteer with Darfuris during the next trimester.  We left abruptly as Tomer called me and told me that the tsofim's (like the boy scouts in America, but much more popular, and, frankly, much cooler) first peulah (program) was happening at their headquarters.  The place is next to the school I volunteer at--it's kind of an open field of dust.  The tsofim had built many different things, and kids of all ages were doing different activities.  It was pretty cool, but there was almost nothing for me to do, so we left after a little. I had dinner at a place called Japanika near the beach with the entirety of Lior's apartment, and it was pretty good.  I also ordered a girly drink for the first time since I got here, but I don't want to talk about it.  My pride can't stand to. :P

I then went home and showered, hung out with Nathan for a bit, and then went back to my place with every intention of sleeping--but there were a bunch of drunk people there, so I came back to Nathan's/Simon's/Scott's/Ben Jirik's/Aaron's/Ohad's apartment and slept on their couch.

All in all, yesterday was a good day.  I feel like I'm going to do a lot of chores today though.  Oh well.  Hope everyone's doing well!